How does it feel, to be trapped inside your head?
Are you here by choice?
To live in doubt and suffering, stuttering in breath?
Can you recognise your voice?
Do you still romanticise attempts of suicidal death?
I know you sometimes cry when you remember all the people who have left.
I’m less trapped inside my head now.
In-fact my freedom strengthens every day.
I choose Love and freedom in every way I can.
My voice is getting stronger, hearing more of what I say.
I do not romanticise on suicide, nor did I back then,
What you remember was raw and tender wounds that made me dream the pain would end.
I will no-longer live in fear, but rather in Love and truth be free,
I suggest you do the same old friend,
rather than question me.
And yes I grieve for those who go, I wish them all the best,
But I believe in God above, who brings them peaceful rest.
I appreciate that you believe this candour to be truth,
But answer carefully my dear, as you surely are aware I also know the truth,
Deep down you are in agony, I see it - too many times a day.
Why persist in lying, if you are sure what I will say.
And how can you still have any faith, of heaven or a God,
When you yourself bear witness to life’s sad and cruel decay?
Your Life is nothing but a deceiving, painful plot!
You make me want to pray,
You make me want to scream,
When it is you I am without,
I have per chance to dream,
Of harmony and peaceful nights,
Without the tossing nightmares you provide,
Where I am not another victim to your chaos genocide,
You would rather that I die alone,
Ignorant and blind to see,
There is a victim I digress,
But it is you, not me!
I will no longer be your stronghold,
your host, your puppet, or your prey!
You will soon surrender,
you let-go more each passing day,
And when you have released me,
you simply cease to be,
I will help all others vanquish you,
just as I did me.
I pray you go in peace,
I wish unto you no harm,
But you shall n’ere destroy me,
like you tried to take my life,
by the slicing of my arm,
Do not be fooled by my kindness, voice,
My show of weakness was but unconscious plight,
Let us part in peace,
For you will no longer win this fight!
Be gone I say. Leave me alone.
You are but a trauma, brainwashed train of thought,
I’ll admit I thought you were a friend
But friends n’ere wish your life to end.
My faith in God shall not be slain,
I trust heaven to be real,
For I feel God in all I see,
I see God in every sun beam and in every drop of rain,
I feel God cradle me to sleep each night and comfort me from pain,
I sense God in every smile and every laugh of joy,
God is always with us,
God’s name is YAHWEH so we breathe.
Do not speak of goodness voice - you dare not understand,
You have outstayed your welcome,
It’s time that you should leave,
Now go I do demand!
Ah cherished vessel,
I see your strength, but, also, the shiver in your heart,
You know this world is lonely,
I am you friend,
We should not part.
I am your personal protector,
Better than any family member,
I know you better than you know yourself,
You would not survive alone.
Why see me as the enemy - when I would create for you a throne?
I have been here, with you, through it all,
I’ve known your every sin,
You are a child of destiny,
A smart one- I’ll give you that,
But I will always win,
without me you would fail my dear,
Like a poisoned drowning rat,
So numb yourself from silly virtue,
Morals have no use,
Fall back asleep with wine and gin,
Be with me, in sad morose.
Be gone I said!
You foul mouthed beast,
The demon of my mind,
It is you who tricked me into sin,
You would rather I be blind!
Do not be daft oh little one,
We have much to teach you yet,
You may think you’re growing stronger,
but we have more armies coming yet,
And you are not the victim,
We n’ere said you were,
You could be a perfect leader,
Allow us to occur,
This is a mental war oh sweet,
I have seen you grow quite brave,
You have earned from us respect,
But without us, you would cease to be,
A fate far worse than dying we suspect,
Oh surely you agree?
So relinquish here and rest your head,
You are just but a babe,
A heart so torn and traumatised,
Let us control how you behave,
Yes, we know for what you crave,
you miss those tempting drugs along with alcoholic haze,
We’ll protect you in a zombie slumber,
An unawakened daze,
You need only play a puppet role,
And sleepwalk through this life,
Give gratitude to us, pray to us for praise,
You shall share our greedy victory,
These morals that you live by are simply just a phase.
What is it that you want from me?!
A leader or a slave?!
I said be gone!
Do not come back!
I command you to be silent,
It is you who must relinquish!
It is you who must be quiet!
Are you scared of existence without me?
I will not apologise for healing from my wounds.
Nor will I listen to your violence!
No longer will I need your guidance, or your gloom!
I have faith in God!
I trust in good!
I know heaven will succeed!
You have no power, you have no sound.
Outside of our heads, you are nowhere to be found.
I’ll admit you fooled me many times - for that I was naive.
So much hurting!
So much bleeding!
So many sleepless nights of barely breathing!
For so long I believed that I must listen.
You made me think I had no choice but to stay within your prison!
But I will not surrender.
And you will not succeed.
You evil must now be abolished - I will no longer plead,
I will extinguish-out your voice!
I shall not give you pity,
Or shed more tears in grief,
For from my pain is how you feed,
You are nothing but a bully,
And bullies must be stopped!
You are an assassin - a killer without form,
A wicked cruel imprisoner,
You shall not have my life - to that I am sworn.
I am my own hero,
And I will save not just myself, but others too,
I will save myself and then I will help to save the world from you!
I have too been helped and we are tracking every clue,
We are humankind - and we are more than just a few,
As soon as we succeed, are minds will be anew!
Poor little girl,
You could have been so great,
We had so many plans for you,
Money, fame, the list goes on,
Its such a pity now’s too late,
First we will destroy your faith and goodness, your passions great and small,
Then we will fill you up with hate,
Until you wish for suicide once more,
You have but little time - to turn back the hands of fate,
If you join us now my dear,
It may not be too late,
You speak of God, but surely we are God’s creation too,
Why not embrace us now my dear,
No more protective force for you will find,
Give up, give-in, it’s time that you resigned.
You liar!
You demented figment of the mind,
I sincerely doubt that God took any part in making of your kind!
You are just disease - one received along with freedom.
A test of sorts to strengthen knowing what is good and even,
But you are bad, you heathen!
The sooner we depart from you,
The closer we may live our lives to Eden.
I dispel you from my mind!
I wish to serve the God I love.
The God of truth, so loving, pure and kind!
I will forget of your existence!
Rid you from my mind!
I forgive you, now be gone!
I admired your resistance.
Now I shall silence you with song,
A harmonious persistance.
A melody so pure, made of healing sound,
Vibrations you cannot dispel,
You are being placed to sleep,
A lullaby of gratitude,
A prayer, so thank you heaven high and deep,
The strength you made us form - we shall grow it and shall keep,
A peaceful parting we shall have,
A gift to us of strength and peace,
a gift to you of kind release,
A prayer for your safe journey parting,
Into Gods righteous, judgment land,
The God we Love is everlasting,
And just as the rocks through time,
wash away with sea to sand,
Ego you shall but crumble in God’s almighty Loving hand!
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